As this is my first blog I'll give you a little info.
I have been living my entire life with this huge fear of being alone. I don't just mean in relationships, but it effects this. It's not exactly that I fear being by myself. Just that I fear the idea of being alone.
I've lived my life with lots of regrets because I do things I don't want to do, because I want to make others happy so they wont leave me alone.
A good friend of mine has been helping me on this journey, but I am pretty much doing this all by myself.
I thought it would be helpful as I'm sure that I am not the only one with these fears.
A Challenge...
So my friend gave me a challenge that I am undertaking. She told me to do something new or that scares me everyday... I have modified that to once a week. I will share these with you as I go. Now in the beginning they're not gonna seem hard, but as I go they will get harder.
Daily Affirmations...
Ok, they might not be daily, but I will try to make them frequent.
Feelings...
This is the nuts and bolts of this. My feelings. They might not seem like much, but it's what I will reflect on when I look back.
Questions...
These are the deep dark questions that nobody wants to ask themselves, and I might not always answer right away but it gives me things to think of.
Quotes...
Sometimes a quote can be inspirational on our journey.
Ramblings...
It's just that. These are my more heated feelings.
So... This is my journey. I am interested in what you think.
Admitting your fear is the start of accepting it, if not overcoming it. Sometimes it seems to me people want to rid themselves of every unpleasant emotion. But being mindlessly happy all the time doesn't make sense.
I spend most of my time alone but would be afraid to be alone from now until I die. And I have trouble accepting that I can never--never--get away from myself.
Big up, Pat.
Posted by: Kathleen Maher | 01/11/2010 at 08:40 PM
Thanks for the comment Kathleen...
I too agree. You shouldn't rid yourself of every painful experience. These are the foundations of our character. If this was a good thing, why does Blues music sound so good. It's because we all have bad hard times and we relate to each other using these experiences.
I have been on my own for a few months now... and am loving it. Thanks goes out to everyone that has offered advice.
I have really been focusing the blog now on improving life. Making every little thing count. And enjoying the good and the bad.
Posted by: Pat Harrington | 01/11/2010 at 08:47 PM
Everyones journey begins for different reasons but in the end we all seek the same thing...a sense of wholeness. Good luck to you on your journey friend. I hope you find what you seek.
Posted by: Lilolu | 01/16/2010 at 05:29 AM
To me it's very natural to have fears as they are part of our human nature in so far as they don't affect our lives and our loved ones. I agree that by accepting our fears, we can get rid of them more easily, but not always. I have had the fear of flying since I was 11 - my first air trip and the experience of an emergency landing. I tried hard to overcome this fear by attending a group therapy session with people sharing the same fear. I can now take a plane for only short distances - which was quite a progress - but the fear is still there. I no longer fight it now, I just accept it and live with it. But as I tend to think positive I hope that the next step will be to get on a plane and cross the Atlantic!
Posted by: Anastasia | 01/16/2010 at 07:01 AM
Thank you so much Jackie.
Posted by: Pat Harrington | 01/16/2010 at 09:15 AM
The fear of flying is definitely something I can relate to. I think most people have some kind of fear of flying. I don't let it stand in my way of going someplace... but I have known a great many that have.
I could understand how having such a bad first experience could make you feel as if there might be more.
I found a great website dealing with phobia it's http://www.airsafe.com/issues/fear.htm
Thank you so much for the comment, I hope one day you make that flight across the Atlantic.
Posted by: Pat Harrington | 01/16/2010 at 09:22 AM
Thank you very much for the website link. It helps a lot.
Posted by: Anastasia | 01/17/2010 at 04:22 AM
Good luck on your journey. I know that self examination can often be simultaneously rewarding, exciting and also frightening. But, as Socrates said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." I wish you hope and happiness in your future and thank you for sharing your progress with us.
Posted by: Bernie Moran | 01/18/2010 at 12:40 PM
You are very welcome. :)
Posted by: Pat Harrington | 01/20/2010 at 10:57 PM
Thank you very much. I wish for you the same.
Great words by Socrates... so, true.
Posted by: Pat Harrington | 01/20/2010 at 10:58 PM